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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=476454" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>All That I Could Wish For You</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">All that I could wish for you or anyone else <br>is more than I could attain for myself. <br>So far from home for so long <br>as if home were the alibi <br>that put the distance between me and a lie <br>I got sick of telling myself <br>to feel I belonged somewhere to some people <br>who might look up from the compass<br>of what they’re doing once and awhile <br>into the thirty-six years of my absence <br>and care that I’m not there anymore.<br>So I wish you a door that opens <br>before you need to knock.<br>And a thief in a window you leave unlocked<br>so he can steal your heart like sterling silver<br>and pawn it off as moonlight.<br>I suspect most people are way too clever <br>to ever be loved the way they want to be <br>and I’m not saying that I’ve never been graced <br>by the mystery <br>of waking up beside someone I loved <br>dreaming next to me <br>about things I know nothing of<br>because love keeps its deepest secrets to itself<br>like water on the moon <br>but I wish you the purest of fountains <br>from the sweetest wellsprings of life <br>that don’t look upon the reflections of the clouds <br>or the leaves and birds that come to sip from its glass<br>as just another mouthful of polluted words<br>indelible as headlines <br>disposable as trash.<br>My light’s been bent <br>by a lot of black holes and gravitational eyes <br>in the five billion light years it’s taken to get here<br>like a past I almost forgot I had <br>and I’m not saying that’s bad <br>though it’s relatively slow <br>compared to the speed of thought <br>that overtook it like a hawk <br>coming down on a morning dove.<br>But I wish you the immensity of a clear night sky <br>it will take you forever to disappear in<br>because of all the things <br>you can learn to say good-bye to in this world<br>the hardest farewell to master is love.<br>I’ve always been grateful <br>for the gifts I’ve been given<br>and endeavoured like any other B.C. salmon <br>to make a gift of a gift <br>by swimming upstream <br>like a waterclock doubling back on its way to the sea.<br>Like the retrograde motion of Mars <br>there may be loops and nooses and garottes in my orbit <br>and small raw pieces of my heart I used <br>to bait the trapline<br>to catch and skin the fishers <br>that kept killing my cats when I lived on a farm<br>not very far from here <br>without meaning any harm to the wildlife <br>that accepted me as one of their own<br>and like I did them <br>left me alone. <br>Except for the fishers.<br>So I wish you a free passage through life <br>where every breath you take <br>adds another inch of feather to the wind<br>like a mindstream flowing into an older river of stars <br>with wild irises blooming along its banks <br>like blue flames of hydrogen <br>that stick their tongues in each others’ ears <br>as if they had something to say to one another<br>like lovers and celestial spheres <br>and oceans in a seashell<br>not well-intentioned highways lined with roadkill<br>like the primrose path to hell that most of us take<br>like a short cut back to a worse mistake<br>than the one we made to get here.<br>Most of my life <br>I’ve felt like a fluke of the truth<br>that was able to win out against <br>the astronomical odds <br>of my small chances of having the courage <br>to stand up for it like a strong voice <br>in a lottery of echoes<br>but fortunately I’ve always been <br>self-destructive enough <br>to risk everything in the name of nothing<br>I’ve ever seen <br>but sensed was near and clear to me<br>like a warm spring rain on a dirty window pane<br>like the gardens of ice <br>that grew out of my breath <br>like the tendrils of ferns unfurling <br>like the treble clefs of blue violins<br>in a sad exiled place<br>where the truth was music to my ears<br>that fell like the sound of rain from home on my roots<br>but felt like all the shattered chandeliers and broken mirrors<br>had gone into diaspora.<br>A crystal nacht of jackboots<br>refused to see the whole <br>reflected in every part of me as in them <br>like the yellow star <br>of the myriad-eyed conspiracy theory<br>that out shone the black hole they wanted to bury it in<br>like something you could catch <br>and put in your pocket <br>and save for a rainy day<br>like a ghetto or a bank to bail you out <br>whenever they got so fanatically deep into themselves <br>everything they felt<br>everything they had to say <br>was a debt to someone <br>they couldn’t possibly repay<br>even if they could turn <br>the bad luck of their swastikas the other way<br>like the prayer wheel of a poisonous flower<br>like hate mail disguised as a loveletter <br>even the wind and the light refused to answer.<br>So I wish you the mindscape and spirituality <br>of a generous country with a big sky<br>where the constellations have no nationality<br>other than free access to the great sea of awareness beyond <br>that reflects all the colours of the colour blind stars<br>and makes them feel they’ve made it home <br>as soon as their light arrives<br>like honey bees without borders <br>to open the flowers<br>like the passports of Japanese plum blossoms<br>that travel without i.d. anywhere they want<br>like the billions upon billions of fingerprints <br>that never lie about our common humanity<br>to anyone who needs to ask<br>who we all belong to <br>if it isn’t each other<br>and where we all come from <br>if it wasn’t from the same dark mother.<br>Poetry has been the most ardent folly of my crazy wisdom <br>for as long as I’ve known how to weep and wonder <br>in joy and sorrow <br>at the mystery and the horror <br>of what’s arrayed before us here<br>with such immensity <br>even time feels small in its presence.<br>Keats once said load every rift with ore <br>and so I have <br>but the greatest discipline of my calling <br>the gravest risk <br>the royal quatternio of Orphic alchemy <br>in the hands of a master shapeshifter<br>in the smile of a sacred clown <br>has been to approach the shining <br>without turning gold into a base metal. <br>To taste the water without fouling the well I drew it from. <br>To look at the stars without getting in their eyes.<br>To pursue an earthly excellence <br>that expressed the human divinity <br>that was born of suffering in everyone<br>without giving offense to the transcendentalists<br>who like to keep their gods unattainable <br>because I could see its immanence <br>was a lot closer to them <br>than they were to it. <br>I could see it in the hunch-back baglady <br>sorting through a garbage can at four in the morning <br>for the hidden jewel she was sure to find <br>if she looked deep enough. <br>I could see it in myself from time to time <br>when my mind strayed like a white horse<br>with an odd-shaped birthmark <br>in the middle of its forehead<br>because it wasn’t born lucky enough to be a logo <br>into the star fields of my reclusive neighbour <br>like the constellation Pegasus <br>through a gap in a fallen fence<br>and she was there to lead it back like a muse <br>along the Road of Ghosts<br>and you could tell by the smile on her face<br>that she’d always met me this way<br>and that there was nothing supernatural <br>in what she wasn’t trying to hide.<br>I can see it in you like light in a lamp <br>that isn’t cagey enough to keep a dove in<br>even if it wanted to <br>and it’s as clear as fireflies on a starless night<br>that it can’t and it won’t and it doesn’t.<br>So I wish for you a long love affair <br>with a passion you can’t marry. <br>A calling that doesn’t have your name on it <br>because it doesn’t belong to anyone<br>but loves the sound of your voice in the stairwell<br>whether you’re coming or going <br>and the picture-music you set it to<br>like morning glory on the moon <br>to let life speak through you in dead earnest<br>as if you were wholly possessed by the play <br>of the hero’s entrance <br>and the villain’s exit <br>though you know they’re both taking <br>a standing ovation in the same doorway. <br>I wish you the sublimity of a single blade of grass <br>and a darkness as profound as the shadow of an ant<br>and a heart like a bell of sorrows so sweet and deep <br>even in a single tear <br>it’s way out of its depths.<br>And in the evening just before the stars come out <br>and Venus is following <br>the last crescent of the moon <br>down in the west<br>having wandered as far as it dares from the sun<br>I wish you a soul so expansive and radiant with light<br>all the nights to come can’t help making<br>enlightened gestures of glee <br>toward the court jesters <br>who illuminate your crown with laughter<br>like waterlilies that shine up at everyone <br>out of their dark wisdom<br>and their artistic genius for working with water<br>like a Zen master amusing himself <br>with paper boats that float <br>like the moon on the mindstream<br>knowing there’s nowhere to go<br>nothing to do <br>no one to be<br>and no one to set free.<br>Because the people all know<br>there’s never been a river<br>that doesn’t lead to the sea <br>or a hand or a brush or a pen <br>following its own cursive script <br>like the holy book of a lost art<br>that isn’t written in blood <br>but makes itself up as it flows along <br>like a spiral galaxy without a star map <br>all the way to the heart.<br>And once the lightning’s rooted in your mind <br>and blossoms like fireflies <br>in a garden of insight<br>I wish you never a thought<br>whatever the mode of expression <br>whatever the fashion <br>whatever the theme<br>the scheme<br>the dream<br>that doesn’t tend like all lucidity<br>to sweeten the fruits of compassion.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Patrick+White">Patrick White</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=476454" data-title="All That I Could Wish For You de Patrick White" data-description="All that I could wish for you or anyone else 
is more than I could attain for myself. 
So far from home for so long 
as if home were the alibi 
that put the distance between me and a lie 
I got sick of telling myself 
to feel I belonged somewhere ..."></div>
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