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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=455431" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Asparagus</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">Mr. Ramsbottom went to the races, <br>A thing as he'd ne'er done before,<br>And as luck always follers beginners, <br>Won five pounds, no-less and no-more.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He felt himself suddenly tempted<br>To indulge in some reckless orgee, <br>So he went to a caffy-a-teerer <br>And had a dressed crab with his tea.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He were crunching the claws at the finish<br>And wondering what next he would do, <br>Then his thoughts turned to home and to Mother,<br>And what she would say when she knew. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">For Mother were dead against racing <br>And said as she thought 'twere a sin <br>For people to gamble their money <br>Unless they were certain to win.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">These homely domestic reflections <br>Seemed to cast quite a gloom on Pa's day<br>He thought he'd best take home a present <br>And square up the matter that way.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">' Twere a bit ofa job to decide on <br>What best to select for this 'ere,<br>So he started to look in shop winders <br>In hopes as he'd get some idea.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He saw some strange stuff in a fruit shop <br>Like leeks with their nobby ends gone,<br>It were done up in bundles like firewood- <br>Said Pa to the Shopman, "What's yon?"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"That's Ass-paragus-what the Toffs eat" <br>Were the answer; said Pa "That 'll suit,<br>I'd best take a couple of bundles, <br>For Mother's a bobby for fruit."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He started off home with his purchase <br>And pictured Ma all the next week<br>Eating sparagus fried with her bacon <br>Or mashed up in bubble-and-squeak.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He knew when she heard he'd been racing <br>She'd very nigh talk him to death,<br>So he thought as he'd call in the ' Local' <br>To strengthen his nerve and his breath.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He had hardly got up to the counter <br>When a friend of his walked in the bar,<br>He said "What ye got in the bundle?" <br>"A present for Mother," said Pa.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">It's 'sparagus stuff what the Toffs eat " <br>His friend said "It's a rum-looking plant,<br>Can I have the green ends for my rabbits?" <br>said Pa "Aye, cut off what you want.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He cut all the tips off one bundle,<br>Then some more friends arrived one by one, <br>And all of them seemed to keep rabbits <br>Pa had no green ends left when they'd done.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">When he got home the 'ouse were in dark ness,<br>So he slipped in as sly as a fox, <br>Laid the 'sparagus on kitchen table <br>And crept up to bed in his socks.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He got in without waking Mother, <br>A truly remarkable feat,<br>And pictured her telling the neighbours <br>As 'twere 'sparagus-what the toffs eat.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But when he woke up in the morning <br>It were nigh on a quarter to ten,<br>There were no signs of Mother, or breakfast<br>Said Pa, "What's she done with her-sen?"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He shouted "What's up theer in t' kitchen?"<br>She replied, "You do well to enquire,<br>Them bundles of chips as you brought home <br>Is so damp... I can't light the fire."</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Marriott+Edgar">Marriott Edgar</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=455431" data-title="Asparagus de Marriott Edgar" data-description="Mr. Ramsbottom went to the races, A thing as he'd ne'er done before, And as luck always follers beginners, Won five pounds, no-less and no-more. He felt himself suddenly tempted To indulge in some reckless orgee, So he went to a caffy-a-teerer..."></div> </div> </div>
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