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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=431395" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Three Gossips' Wager</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">AS o'er their wine one day, three gossips sat,<br>Discoursing various pranks in pleasant chat,<br>Each had a loving friend, and two of these<br>Most clearly managed matters at their ease.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SAID one, a princely husband I have got.<br>A better in the world there's surely not;<br>With him I can adjust as humour fits,<br>No need to rise at early dawn, like cits,<br>To prove to him that two and three make four,<br>Or ask his leave to ope or shut the door.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">UPON my word, replied another fair,<br>If he were mine, I openly declare,<br>To judge from what so pleasantly you say,<br>I'd make a present of him new-year's day.<br>For pleasure never gives me full delight,<br>Unless a little pain the bliss invite.<br>No doubt your husband moves as he is led;<br>Thank heav'n a different mortal claims my bed;<br>To take him in, great nicety we need;<br>But howsoe'er, at times I can succeed;<br>The satisfaction doubly then is felt:--<br>In fond emotion bosoms freely melt.<br>With neither of you, husband or gallant,<br>Would I exchange, though these so much you vaunt.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ON this, the third with candour interfer'd;<br>She thought that oft the god of love appear'd,<br>Good husbands playfully to fret and vex,<br>Sometimes to rally couples: then perplex;<br>But warmer as the conversation grew,<br>She, anxious that each disputant might view<br>Herself victorious, (or believe it so,)<br>Exclaim'd, if either of you wish to show<br>Who's in the right, with argument have done,<br>And let us practise some new scheme of fun,<br>To dupe our husbands; she who don't succeed<br>Shall pay a forfeit; all replied, &quot;Agreed.&quot;<br>But then, continued she, we ought to take<br>An oath, that we will full discov'ry make,<br>To one another of the various facts,<br>Without disguising even trifling acts.<br>And then, good upright Macae shall decide;<br>Thus things arrang'd, the ladies homeward plied.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SHE, 'mong the three, who felt the most constraint<br>Ador'd a youth, contemporaries paint,<br>Well made and handsome, but with beardless chin,<br>Which led the pair a project to begin;<br>For yet no opportunity they'd found,<br>T' enjoy their wishes, save by stealth around;<br>Most ardently she sought to be at ease,<br>And 'twas agreed the lucky thought to seize<br>That like a chambermaid he should be dress'd,<br>And then proceed to execute the jest,<br>Attend upon the wily, wedded pair,<br>And offer services with modest air<br>And downcast eyes; the husband on her leer'd,<br>And in her favour prepossess'd appear'd,<br>In hopes one day, to find those pleasing charms<br>Resign'd in secret to his longing arms.<br>Such pretty cheeks and sparkling eyes he thought,<br>Had ne'er till then his roving fancy caught;<br>The girl was hir'd, but seemingly with pain,<br>Since PRUDENCE ultimately might complain,<br>That (maid and master both so very young)<br>'Twould not be wonderful if things went wrong.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">AT first the husband inattention show'd,<br>And scarcely on the maid a look bestow'd;<br>But presently he chang'd his conduct quite,<br>And presents gave, with promises not slight;<br>At length the servant feign'd to lend an ear,<br>And anxious seem'd obliging to appear.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE trap our cunning lovers having laid,<br>One eve this message brought the smiling maid;<br>My lady, sir, is ill, and rest requires,<br>To sleep alone to-night she much desires.<br>To grant the master's wish the girl was led,<br>And they together hurried off to bed.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE husband 'tween the sheets himself had plac'd;<br>The nymph was in her petticoat, unlac'd;<br>When suddenly appear'd the wily wife,<br>And promis'd harmony was turn'd to strife.<br>Are these your freaks, cried she with mark'd surprise;<br>Your usual dish it seems then don't suffice;<br>You want, indeed, to have some nicer fare?<br>A little sooner, by the saints I swear,<br>You'd me a pretty trick, 'tis clear, have shown,<br>And doubtless, then, tit bits to keep been prone.<br>This, howsoe'er, to get you're not design'd,<br>So elsewhere you may try what you can find.<br>And as to you, miss Prettyface, you jade,<br>Good heav'ns! to think a paltry servant maid<br>Should rival me? I'll beat you black and blue!<br>The bread I eat, indeed, must be for you?<br>But I know better, and indeed am clear,<br>Not one around will fancy I appear<br>So void of charms, so faded, wither'd, lost,<br>That I should out of doors at once be tost;<br>But I will manage matters:--I design<br>This girl no other bed shall have than mine;<br>Then who so bold to touch her there will dare?<br>Come, Miss, let's to my room at once repair;<br>Away--your things to-morrow you can seek;<br>If scandal 'twould spread around, I'd wreak<br>My vengeance instantly, and turn you out;<br>But I am lenient, and desire no rout;<br>Perhaps your ruin may be sav'd by care;<br>So night and day your company I'll share;<br>No more my bosom then will feel dismay,<br>For I shall see that you no frolicks play.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ON this the trembling girl, o'ercome with fears;<br>Held down her head and seem'd to hide her tears;<br>Pick'd up her clothes and quickly stole away,<br>As if afraid her mistress more might say;<br>And hop'd to act the maid while Sol gave light,<br>But play at ease the fond gallant at night;<br>At once she fill'd two places in the house,<br>And thought in both the husband she should chouse,<br>Who bless'd his stars that he'd escap'd so well,<br>And sneak'd alone to rest within his cell,<br>While our gay, am'rous pair advantage took,<br>To play at will, and ev'ry solace hook,<br>Convinc'd most thoroughly, once lovers kiss'd,<br>That OPPORTUNITY should n'er be miss'd.<br>Here ends the trick our wily gossip play'd;<br>But now let's see the plot another laid.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE second dame, whose husband was so meek,<br>That only from her lips the truth he'd seek,<br>When seated with him 'neath a pear tree's shade,<br>Contriv'd at ease and her arrangement made.<br>The story I shall presently relate;<br>The butler, strong, well dress'd, and full of prate:<br>Who often made the other servants trot,<br>Stood near when madam hit upon her plot,<br>To whom she said, I wish the fruit to taste;<br>On which the man prepar'd with ev'ry haste,<br>To climb the tree, and off the produce shook;<br>But while above, the fellow gave a look<br>Upon the ground below, and feign'd he saw<br>The spouse and wife--do more than kiss and paw:<br>The servant rubb'd his eyes, as if in doubt,<br>And cried: why truly, sir, if you're so stout,<br>That you must revel 'mid your lady's charms,<br>Pray elsewhere take her to your longing arms,<br>Where you at ease may frolick hours or days,<br>Without my witnessing your loving ways;<br>Indeed, I'm quite surprised at what I spy<br>In publick, 'neath a tree such pranks to try!<br>And, if you don't a servant's presence heed,<br>With decency howe'er you should proceed.<br>What, still go on? for shame, I say, for shame!<br>Pray wait till by and by; you're much to blame;<br>Besides, the nights are long enough you'll find;<br>Heav'n genial joys for privacy design'd;<br>And why this place, when you've nice chambers got?<br>What, cried the lady, says this noisy sot?<br>He surely dreams; Where can he learn these tales?<br>Come down; let's see what 'tis the fellow ails.<br>Down William came. How? said the master, how?<br>Are we at play?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> WILLIAM</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Not now, sir, no, not now.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Why, when then, friend?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> WILLIAM</div><div style="margin:10px 0">While I was in the tree,<br>Alive, sir, flay me, if I did not see<br>You on the verdant lawn my lady lay,<br>And kiss, and toy, and other frolicks play.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Twere surely better if thou held'st thy tongue,<br>Or thou'lt a beating get before 'tis long.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">No, no, my dear, he's mad, and I design<br>The fellow in a madhouse to confine.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> WILLIAM<br>Is't folly, pray, to see what we behold?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">What hast thou seen?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> WILLIAM</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> What I've already told:--<br>My master and yourself at Cupid's game,<br>Or else the tree 's enchanted I proclaim.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ENCHANTED! nonsense; such a sight to see!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">To know the truth myself, I'll climb the tree,<br>Then you the fact will quickly from me learn;<br>We may believe what we ourselves discern.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SOON as the master they above descried,<br>And that below our pair he sharply eyed,<br>The butler took the lady in his arms,<br>And grew at once familiar with her charms;<br>At sight of this the husband gave a yell:<br>Made haste to reach the ground, and nearly fell;<br>Such liberties he wish'd at once to stop,<br>Since what he'd seen had nearly made him drop.<br>How! how!--cried he:--what, e'en before my sight?<br>What can you mean? said she without affright.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">DAR'ST thou to ask again?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">AND why not, pray?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">FINE, pretty doings!--Presently you'll say;<br>That what I've seen 'tis folly to believe.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Too much is this:--such accusations grieve.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thou did'st most clearly suffer his embrace.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE<br>I? WHY, you dream!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This seems a curious case.<br>MY reason's flown'! or have I lost my eyes?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WIFE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CAN you suppose my character I prize<br>So very little, that these pranks I'd play<br>Before your face, when I might ev'ry day<br>Find minutes to divert myself at will,<br>And (if lik'd such frolicks) take my fill?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> HUSBAND</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I KNOW not what to think nor what to do;<br>P'rhaps this same tree can tricks at will pursue;<br>Let's see again; aloft he went once more,<br>And William acted as he'd done before;<br>But now the husband saw the playful squeeze;<br>Without emotion, and returned at ease.<br>To find the cause, said he, no longer try,<br>The tree's enchanted, we may well rely.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SINCE, that's the fact, replied the cunning jade;<br>To burn it, quickly William seek fort aid;<br>The tree accurst no longer shall remain;<br>Her will the servant wish'd not to restrain,<br>But soon some workmen brought, who felled the tree;<br>And wondered what the fault our fair could see.<br>Down hew it, cried the lady, that's your task;<br>More concerns you not; folly 'tis to ask.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">OUR second gossip thus obtained success;<br>But now the third: we'll see if she had less:<br>To female friends she often visits paid,<br>And various pastimes there had daily play'd;<br>A leering lover who was weary grown,<br>Desired ONE night she'd meet him quite alone.<br>TWO, if you will, replied the smiling fair;<br>A trifle 'tis you ask, and I'll repair<br>Where'er you wish, and we'll recline at ease;<br>My husband I can manage, if I please,<br>While thus engag'd.--The parties soon agreed;<br>But still the lady for her wits had need,<br>Since her dear man from home but rarely went,<br>No pardons sought at Rome, but was content<br>With what he nearer got, while his sweet wife<br>More fondness mark'd for gratifying life,<br>And ever anxious, warmest zeal to show,<br>Was always wishing distant scenes to know;<br>As pilgrim oft she'd trod a foreign road,<br>But now desir'd those ancient ways t'explode;<br>A plan more rare and difficult she sought,<br>And round her toe our wily dame bethought,<br>To tie a pack-thread, fasten'd to the door,<br>Which open'd to the street: then feign'd to snore<br>Beside her husband, Harry Berlinguier,<br>(So, usually, they nam'd her wedded dear.)</div><div style="margin:10px 0">HOWE'ER, so cunningly with him she dealt,<br>That Harry turn'd, and soon the pack-thread felt,<br>Which rais'd distrust, and led him to suspect<br>Some bad design the thread was meant t'effect.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">A LITTLE time, as if asleep, he lay<br>Considering how to act, or what to say;<br>Then rose, (his spouse believing not awake,)<br>And softly treading, lest the room should shake;<br>The pack-thread follow'd to the outer door,<br>And thence concluded (what he might deplore,)<br>That his dear partner from her faith would stray,<br>And some gallant that night design'd to play<br>The lover's part and draw the secret clue,<br>When she would rise, and with him freaks pursue,<br>While he (good husband!) quietly in bed<br>Might sleep, not dreaming that his wife had fled.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">FOR otherwise, what use such pains to take?<br>A visit cuckoldom, perhaps, might make;<br>An honour that he'd willingly decline;<br>On which he studied how to countermine;<br>And like a sentinel mov'd to and fro',<br>To watch if any one would thither go<br>To pull the string, that he could see with ease,<br>And then he'd instantly the culprit seize.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE, reader will perceive, we may suppose,<br>Besides the entrance which the husband chose,<br>On t'other side a door, where our gallant<br>Could enter readily, as he might want,<br>And there the spark a chambermaid let in:--<br>Oft servants prone are found a bribe to win.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WHILE Berlinguier thus watch'd around and round;<br>The friends with one another pleasures found;<br>But heav'n alone knows how nor what they were:--<br>No fact transpir'd save all was free from care;<br>So well the servant kept the careful watch,<br>That not a chance was given the pair to catch:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE spark at dawn the lady left alone,<br>And ere the husband came the bird was flown;<br>Then Harry, weary, took his place again,<br>Complaining, that he'd felt such racking pain,<br>And dreading, lest alarms her breast should seize,<br>Within another room he'd sought for ease.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Two days had pass'd, when madam thought once more,<br>To set the thread, as she had done before;<br>He left the bed, pretending he was sick,<br>Resumed his post; again the lover came,<br>And, with my lady, play'd the former game.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE scheme so well succeeded, that the pair<br>Thrice wish'd to try the wily pack-thread snare;<br>The husband with the cholic mov'd away,<br>His place the bold gallant resum'd till day.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">AT length their ardour 'gan, it seems, to cool,<br>And Harry, they no longer tried to fool;<br>'Twas time to seek the myst'ry of the plot,<br>Since, to three acts, the comedy was got.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">AT midnight, when the spark had left the bed;<br>A servant, by his orders, drew the thread;<br>On whom the husband, without fear, laid hold,<br>And with him enter'd like a soldier bold,<br>Not then supposing he'd a valet seiz'd;<br>Well tim'd it prov'd, howe'er;--the lady pleas'd<br>Her voice to raise, on hearing what was said,<br>And through the house confusion quickly spread.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE valet now before them bent the knee,<br>And openly declar'd, he came to see<br>The chambermaid, whom he was wont to greet,<br>And by the thread to rouse when time to meet:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ARE these your knavish tricks, replied the dame,<br>With eyes upon her maid that darted flame;<br>When I by chance observ'd about your toe,<br>A thread one night, I then resolv'd to know<br>Your scheme in full, and round my own I tied<br>A clue, on which I thoroughly relied,<br>To catch this gay gallant, that you pretend<br>Your husband will become, I apprehend.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Be that as 'twill, to-night from hence you go.<br>My dear, said Berlinguier, I'd fain say no;<br>Let things remain until to-morrow, pray<br>And then my lady presently gave way.<br>A fortune Harry on the girl bestow'd;<br>The like our valet to his master ow'd;<br>To church the happy couple smiling went:--<br>They'd known each other long, and were content.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THUS ended then, the third and last amour;<br>The trio hasten'd Macae to implore,<br>To say which gain'd the bet, who soon replied:--<br>I find it, friends, not easy to decide.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE case hangs up, and there will long remain;<br>'Tis often thus when justice we'd obtain.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=La+Fontaine">La Fontaine</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=431395" data-title="The Three Gossips' Wager de La Fontaine" data-description="AS o'er their wine one day, three gossips sat,
Discoursing various pranks in pleasant chat,
Each had a loving friend, and two of these
Most clearly managed matters at their ease.

SAID one, a princely husband I have got.
A better in the world ther..."></div>
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