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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=431363" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Ear-Maker And The Mould-Mender</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">WHEN William went from home (a trader styled):<br>Six months his better half he left with child,<br>A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame,<br>Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came.<br>Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay;<br>With what intention, needless 'tis to say:<br>A master who but rarely spread his net,<br>But, first or last, with full success he met;<br>And cunning was the bird that 'scaped his snare;<br>Without surrendering a feather there.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">QUITE raw was Alice; for his purpose fit;<br>Not overburdened with a store of wit;<br>Of this indeed she could not be accused,<br>And Cupid's wiles by her were never used;<br>Poor lady, all with her was honest part,<br>And naught she knew of stratagem or art.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">HER husband then away, and she alone,<br>This neighbour came, and in a whining tone,<br>To her observed, when compliments were o'er:--<br>I'm all astonishment, and you deplore,<br>To find that neighbour William's gone from hence,<br>And left your child's completing in suspense,<br>Which now you bear within, and much I fear,<br>That when 'tis born you'll find it wants an ear.<br>Your looks sufficiently the fact proclaim,<br>For many instances I've known the same.<br>Good heav'ns! replied the lady in a fright;<br>What say you, pray?--the infant won't be right!<br>Shall I be mother to a one-eared child?<br>And know you no relief that's certain styled?<br>Oh yes, there is, rejoined the crafty knave,<br>From such mishap I can the baby save;<br>Yet solemnly I vow, for none but you<br>I'd undertake the toilsome job to do.<br>The ills of others, if I may be plain,<br>Except your husband's, never give me pain;<br>But him I'd serve for ever, while I've breath;<br>To do him good I'd e'en encounter death.<br>Now let us see, without more talk or fears,<br>If I know how to forge the bantling ears.<br>Remember, cried the wife, to make them like.<br>Leave that to me, said he, I'll justly strike.<br>Then he prepared for work; the dame gave way;<br>Not difficult she proved:--well pleased she lay;<br>Philosophy was never less required,<br>And Andrew's process much the fair admired,<br>Who, to his work extreme attention paid;<br>'Twas now a tendon; then a fold he made,<br>Or cartilage, of which he formed enough,<br>And all without complaining of the stuff.<br>To-morrow we will polish it, said he:<br>Then in perfection soon the whole will be;<br>And from repeating this so oft, you'll get<br>As perfect issue as was ever met.<br>I'm much obliged to you, the wife replied,<br>A friend is good in whom we may confide.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">NEXT day, when tardy Time had marked the hour;<br>That Andrew hoped again to use his pow'r,<br>He was not plunged in sleep, but briskly flew,<br>His purpose with the charmer to pursue.<br>Said he, all other things aside I've laid,<br>This ear to finish, and to lend you aid.<br>And I, the dame replied, was on the eve,<br>To send and beg you not the job to leave;<br>Above stairs let us go:--away they ran,<br>And quickly recommenced as they began.<br>The work so oft was smoothed, that Alice showed<br>Some scruples lest the ear he had bestowed<br>Should do too much, and to the wily wight,<br>She said, so little you the labour slight,<br>'Twere well if ears no more than two appear;<br>Of that, rejoined the other, never fear;<br>I've guarded thoroughly against defects,<br>Mistake like that shall ne'er your senses vex.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE ear howe'er was still in hand the same,<br>When from his journey home the husband came.<br>Saluted Alice, who with anxious look,<br>Exclaimed,--your work how finely you forsook,<br>And, but for neighbour Andrew's kindness here,<br>Our child would incomplete have been--an ear,<br>I could not let a thing remain like this,<br>And Andrew would not be to friends remiss,<br>But, worthy man, he left his thriving trade,<br>And for the babe a proper ear has made.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE husband, not conceiving how his wife,<br>Could be so weak and ignorant of life,<br>The circumstances made her fully tell,<br>Repeat them o'er and on each action dwell.<br>Enraged at length, a pistol by the bed<br>He seized and swore at once he'd shoot her dead.<br>The belle with tears replied, howe'er she'd swerved,<br>Such cruel treatment never she deserved.<br>Her innocence, and simple, gentle way,<br>At length appeared his frantick rage to lay.<br>What injury, continued she, is done?<br>The strictest scrutiny I would not shun;<br>Your goods and money, ev'ry thing is right;<br>And Andrew told me, nothing he would slight;<br>That you would find much more than you could want;<br>And this I hope to me you'll freely grant;<br>If falsehood I advance, my life I'll lose;<br>Your equity, I trust, will me excuse.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">A LITTLE cooled, then William thus replied,<br>We'll say no more; you have been drawn aside;<br>What passed you fancied acting for the best,<br>And I'll consent to put the thing at rest;<br>To nothing good such altercations tend;<br>I've but a word: to that attention lend;<br>Contrive to-morrow that I here entrap<br>This fellow who has caused your sad mishap;<br>You'll utter not a word of what I've said;<br>Be secret or at once I'll strike you dead.<br>Adroitly you must act: for instance say;<br>I'm on a second journey gone away;<br>A message or a letter to him send,<br>Soliciting that he'll on you attend,<br>That something you have got to let him know;--<br>To come, no doubt, the rascal won't be slow;<br>Amuse him then with converse most absurd,<br>But of the EAR remember,--not a word;<br>That's finished now, and nothing can require;<br>You'll carefully perform what I desire.<br>Poor innocent! the point she nicely hit;<br>Fear oft gives simpletons a sort of wit.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE arch gallant arrived; the husband came<br>Ascended to the room where sat his dame;<br>Much noise he made, his coming to announce;<br>The lover, terrified, began to bounce;<br>Now here, now there, no shelter could he meet;<br>Between the bed and wall he put his feet,<br>And lay concealed, while William loudly knocked;<br>Fair Alice readily the door unlocked,<br>And, pointing with her hand, informed the spouse,<br>Where he might easily his rival rouse.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE husband ev'ry way was armed so well,<br>He four such men as Andrew could repel;<br>In quest of succour howsoe'er he went:<br>To kill him surely William never meant,<br>But only take an ear, or what the Turks,<br>Those savage beasts, cut off from Nature's works;<br>Which doubtless must be infinitely worse<br>Infernal practice and continual curse.<br>'Twas this he whispered should be Andrew's doom,<br>When with his easy wife he left the room;<br>She nothing durst reply: the door he shut,<br>And our gallant 'gan presently to strut,<br>Around and round, believing all was right,<br>And William unacquainted with his plight.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE latter having well the project weighed,<br>Now changed his plan, and other schemes surveyed;<br>Proposed within himself revenge to take,<br>With less parade:--less noise it then would make,<br>And better fruit the action would produce,<br>Than if he were apparently profuse.<br>Said he to Alice, go and seek his wife;<br>To her relate the whole that caused our strife;<br>Minutely all from first to last detail;<br>And then the better on her to prevail,<br>To hasten here, you'll hint that you have fears,<br>That Andrew risks the loss of--more than ears,<br>For I have punishment severe in view,<br>Which greatly she must wish I should not do;<br>But if an ear-maker, like this, is caught,<br>The worst of chastisement is always sought;<br>Such horrid things as scarcely can be said:<br>They make the hair to stand upon the head;<br>That he's upon the point of suff'ring straight,<br>And only for her presence things await;<br>That though she cannot all proceedings stay,<br>Perhaps she may some portion take away.<br>Go, bring her instantly, haste quickly, run;<br>And, if she comes, I'll pardon what's been done.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">WITH joy to Andrew's house fair Alice went;<br>The wife to follow her appeared content;<br>Quite out of breath, alone she ran up stairs,<br>And, not perceiving him who shared her cares;<br>Believed he was imprisoned in a room;<br>And while with fear she trembled for his doom;<br>The master (having laid aside his arms)<br>Now came to compliment the lady's charms;<br>He gave the belle a chair, who looked most nice:--<br>Said he, ingratitude's the worst of vice;<br>To me your husband has been wondrous kind;<br>So many services has done I find,<br>That, ere you leave this house, I'd wish to make<br>A little return, and this you will partake.<br>When I was absent from my loving dear,<br>Obligingly he made her babe an ear.<br>The compliment of course I must admire;<br>Retaliation is what I desire,<br>And I've a thought:--your children all have got<br>The nose a little short, which is a blot;<br>A fault within the mould no doubt's the cause,<br>Which I can mend, and any other flaws.<br>The business now let's execute I pray,<br>On which the dame he took without delay,<br>And placed her near where Andrew hid his head,<br>Then 'gan to operate as he was led.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE, lady patiently his process bore,<br>And blessed her stars that Andrew's risk was o'er<br>That she had thus the dire return received,<br>And saved the man for whom her bosom grieved.<br>So much emotion William seemed to feel,<br>No grace he gave, but all performed with zeal;<br>Retaliated ev'ry way so well,<br>He measure gave for measure:--ell for ell.<br>How true the adage, that revenge is sweet!<br>The plan he followed clearly was discrete;<br>For since he wished his honour to repair:--<br>Of any better way I'm not aware.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE whole without a murmur Andrew viewed,<br>And thanked kind Heav'n that nothing worse ensued;<br>One ear most readily he would have lost,<br>Could he be certain that would pay the cost.<br>He thought 'twould lucky be, could he get out,<br>For all considered, better 'twere no doubt,<br>Howe'er ridiculous the thing appears,<br>To have a pair of horns than lose his ears.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=La+Fontaine">La Fontaine</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=431363" data-title="The Ear-Maker And The Mould-Mender de La Fontaine" data-description="WHEN William went from home (a trader styled):
Six months his better half he left with child,
A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame,
Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came.
Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay;
With what intention, n..."></div>
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