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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=426415" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Famous Speech-Maker Of England Or Baron (Alias Barren) Lovel’s Charge At The Assizes At Exon, April 5, 1710</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">From London to Exon,<br>By special direction,<br>Came down the world's wonder,<br>Sir Salathiel Blunder,<br>With a quoif on his head<br>As heavy as lead;<br>And thus opened and said:</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>Gentlemen of the Grand Inquest,</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>Her majesty, mark it,<br>Appointed this circuit<br>For me and my brother,<br>Before any other;<br>To execute laws,<br>As you may suppose,<br>Upon such as offenders have been.<br>So then, not to scatter<br>More words on the matter,<br>We're beginning just now to begin.<br>But hold—first and foremost, I must enter a clause,<br>As touching and concerning our excellent laws;<br>Which here I aver,<br>Are better by far<br>Than them all put together abroad and beyond sea;<br>For I ne'er read the like, nor e'er shall, I fancy<br>The laws of our land<br>Don't abet, but withstand,<br>Inquisition and thrall,<br>And whatever may gall,<br>And fire withal;<br>And sword that devours<br>Wherever it scowers:<br>They preserve liberty and property, for which men pull and haul so,<br>And they are made for the support of good government also.<br>Her majesty, knowing<br>The best way of going<br>To work for the weal of the nation,<br>Builds on that rock,<br>Which all storms will mock,<br>Since Religion is made the foundation.<br>And, I tell you to boot, she<br>Resolves resolutely,<br>No promotion to give<br>To the best man alive,<br>In church or in state,<br>(I'm an instance of that,)<br>But only to such of a good reputation<br>For temper, morality, and moderation.<br>Fire! fire! a wild-fire,<br>Which greatly disturbs the queen's peace<br>Lies running about;<br>And if you don't put it out,<br>( That's positive) will increase:<br>And any may spy,<br>With half of an eye,<br>That it comes from our priests and Papistical fry.<br>Ye have one of these fellows,<br>With fiery bellows,<br>Come hither to blow and to puff here;<br>Who having been toss'd<br>From pillar to post,<br>At last vents his rascally stuff here:<br>Which to such as are honest must sound very oddly,<br>When they ought to preach nothing but what's very godly;<br>As here from this place we charge you to do,<br>As ye'll answer to man, besides ye know who.<br>Ye have a Diocesan,—<br>But I don't know the man;—<br>The man's a good liver,<br>They tell me, however,<br>And fiery never!<br>Now, ye under-pullers,<br>That wear such black colours,<br>How well would it look,<br>If his measures ye took,<br>Thus for head and for rump<br>Together to jump;<br>For there's none deserve places,<br>I speak't to their faces,<br>But men of such graces,<br>And I hope he will never prefer any asses;<br>Especially when I'm so confident on't,<br>For reasons of state, that her majesty won't<br>Know, I myself I<br>Was present and by,<br>At the great trial, where there was a great company,<br>Of a turbulent preacher, who, cursedly hot,<br>Turn'd the fifth of November, even the gun-powder plot,<br>Into impudent railing, and the devil knows what:<br>Exclaiming like fury—it was at Paul's, London—<br>How church was in danger, and like to be undone,<br>And so gave the lie to gracious Queen Anne;<br>And, which is far worse, to our parliament-men:<br>And then printed a book,<br>Into which men did look:<br>True, he made a good text;<br>But what follow'd next<br>Was nought but a dunghill of sordid abuses,<br>Instead of sound doctrine, with proofs to't, and uses.<br>It was high time of day<br>That such inflammation<br>should be extinguish'd without more delay:<br>But there was no engine could possibly do't,<br>Till the commons play'd theirs, and so quite put it out.<br>So the man was tried for't,<br>Before highest court:<br>Now it's plain to be seen,<br>It's his principles I mean,<br>Where they suffer'd this noisy and his lawyers to bellow:<br>Which over, the blade<br>A poor punishment had<br>For that racket he made.<br>By which ye may know<br>They thought as I do,<br>That he is but at best an inconsiderable fellow.<br>Upon this I find here,<br>And everywhere,<br>That the country rides rusty, and is all out of gear:<br>And for what?<br>May I not<br>In opinion vary,<br>And think the contrary,<br>But it must create<br>Unfriendly debate,<br>And disunion straight;<br>When no reason in nature<br>Can be given of the matter,<br>Any more than for shapes or for different stature?<br>If you love your dear selves, your religion or queen,<br>Ye ought in good manners to be peaceable men:<br>For nothing disgusts her<br>Like making a bluster:<br>And your making this riot,<br>Is what she could cry at,<br>Since all her concern's for our welfare and quiet.<br>I would ask any man<br>Of them all that maintain<br>Their passive obedience<br>With such mighty vehemence,<br>That damn'd doctrine, I trow!<br>What he means by it, ho',<br>To trump it up now?<br>Or to tell me in short,<br>What need there is for't?<br>Ye may say, I am hot;<br>I say I am not;<br>Only warm, as the subject on which I am got.<br>There are those alive yet,<br>If they do not forget,<br>May remember what mischiefs it did church and state:<br>Or at least must have heard<br>The deplorable calamities<br>It drew upon families,<br>About sixty years ago and upward.<br>And now, do ye see,<br>Whoever they be,<br>That make such an oration<br>In our Protestant nation,<br>As though church was all on a fire,—<br>With whatever cloak<br>They may cover their talk,<br>And wheedle the folk,<br>That the oaths they have took,<br>As our governors strictly require;—<br>I say they are men—(and I'm a judge, ye all know,)<br>That would our most excellent laws overthrow;<br>For the greater part of them to church never go;<br>Or, what's much the same, it by very great chance is,<br>If e'er they partake of her wise ordinances.<br>Their aim is, no doubt,<br>Were they made to speak out,<br>To pluck down the queen, that they make all this rout;<br>And to set up, moreover,<br>A bastardly brother;<br>Or at least to prevent the House of Hanover.<br>Ye gentlemen of the jury,<br>What means all this fury,<br>Of which I'm inform'd by good hands, I assure ye;<br>This insulting of persons by blows and rude speeches,<br>And breaking of windows, which, you know, maketh breaches?<br>Ye ought to resent it,<br>And in duty present it,<br>For the law is against it;<br>Not only the actors engaged in this job,<br>But those that encourage and set on the mob:<br>The mob, a paw word, and which I ne'er mention,<br>But must in this place, for the sake of distinction.<br>I hear that some bailiffs and some justices<br>Have strove what they could, all this rage to suppress;<br>And I hope many more<br>Will exert the like power,<br>Since none will, depend on't,<br>Get a jot of preferment.<br>But men of this kidney, as I told you before.—<br>I'll tell you a story: Once upon a time,<br>Some hot-headed fellows must needs take a whim,<br>And so were so weak<br>(Twas a mighty mistake)<br>To pull down and abuse<br>Bawdy-houses and stews;<br>Who, tried by the laws of the realm for high-treason,<br>Were hang'd, drawn, and quarter'd for that very reason.<br>When the time came about<br>For us all to set out,<br>We went to take leave of the queen;<br>Where were great men of worth,<br>Great heads and so forth,<br>The greatest that ever were seen:<br>And she gave us a large<br>And particular charge;—<br>Good part on't indeed<br>Is quite out of my head;—<br>But I remember she said,<br>We should recommend peace and good neighbourhood, wheresoever we came;<br>and so I do here;<br>For that every one, not only men and their wives,<br>Should do all that they can to lead peaceable lives;<br>And told us withal, that she fully expected<br>A special account how ye all stood affected;<br>When we've been at St. James's, you'll hear of the matter.<br>Again then I charge ye,<br>Ye men of the clergy,<br>That ye follow the track all<br>Of your own Bishop Blackall,<br>And preach, as ye should,<br>What's savoury and good;<br>And together all cling,<br>As it were, in a string;<br>Not falling out, quarrelling one with another,<br>Now we're treating with Monsieur,—that son of his mother.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>Then proceeded on the common matters of the law; and concluded:</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>Once more, and no more, since few words are best,<br>I charge you all present, by way of request,<br>If ye honour, as I do,<br>Our dear royal widow,<br>Or have any compassion<br>For church or the nation;<br>And would live a long while<br>In continual smile,<br>And eat roast and boil,<br>And not be forgotten,<br>When ye are dead and rotten;<br>That ye would be quiet, and peaceably dwell,<br>And never fall out, but p—s all in a quill.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Jonathan+Swift">Jonathan Swift</a><div class=q>
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By special direction,
Came down the world's wonder,
Sir Salathiel Blunder,
With a quoif on his head
As heavy as lead;
And thus opened and said:


Gentlemen of the Grand Inquest,


Her majesty, mark it,
Appointed this circuit
F..."></div>
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