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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=426367" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Mrs Frances Haris's Petition</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">To their Excellencies the Lords Justices of Ireland,<br>The humble petition of Frances Harris,<br>Who must starve and die a maid if it miscarries;<br>Humble sheweth, that I went to warm myself in Lady Betty's chamber, because I <br>was cold;<br>And I had in a purse seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence, (besides <br>farthings) in money and gold;<br>So because I had been buying things for my lady last night,<br>I was resolved to tell my money, to see if it was right.<br>Now, you must know, because my trunk has a very bad lock,<br>Therefore all the money I have, which, God knows, is a very small stock,<br>I keep in my pocket, tied about my middle, next my smock.<br>So when I went to put up my purse, as God would have it, my smock was unripped,<br>And instead of putting it into my pocket, down it slipped;<br>Then the bell rung, and I went down to put my lady to bed;<br>And, God knows, I thought my money was as safe as my maidenhead.<br>So, when I came up again, I found my pocket feel very light;<br>But when I searched, and missed my purse, Lord! I thought I should have sunk <br>outright.<br>'Lord! madam,' says Mary, 'how d'ye do?' -'Indeed,' says I, 'never worse:<br>But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my purse?'<br>'Lord help me!' says Mary, 'I never stirred out of this place!'<br>'Nay,' said I, 'I had it in Lady Betty's chamber, that's a plain case.'<br>So Mary got me to bed, and covered me up warm:<br>However, she stole away my garters, that I might do myself no harm.<br>So I tumbled and tossed all night, as you may very well think,<br>But hardly ever set my eyes together, or slept a wink.<br>So I was a-dreamed, methought, that I went and searched the folks round,<br>And in a corner of Mrs Duke's box, tied in a rag, the money was found.<br>So next morning we told Whittle, and he fell a swearing:<br>Then my dame Wadgar came, and she, you know, is thick of hearing.<br>'Dame,' says I, as loud as I could bawl, 'do you know what a loss I have had?'<br>'Nay,' says she, 'my Lord Colway's folks are all very sad:<br>For my Lord Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail.'<br>'Pugh!' said I, 'but that's not the business that I ail.'<br>Says Cary, says he, 'I have been a servant this five and twenty years come <br>spring,<br>And in all the places I lived I never heard of such a thing.'<br>'Yes,' says the steward, 'I remember when I was at my Lord Shrewsbury's,<br>Such a thing as this happened, just about the time of gooseberries.'<br>So I went to the party suspected, and I found her full of grief:<br>(Now, you must know, of all things in the world I hate a thief:)<br>However, I was resolved to bring the discourse slily about:<br>'Mrs Duke,' said I, 'here's an ugly accident has happened out:<br>'Tis not that I value the money three skips of a louse:<br>But the thing I stand upon is the credit of the house.<br>'Tis true, seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence makes a great hole in my <br>wages:<br>Besides, as they say, service is no inheritance in these ages.<br>Now, Mrs Duke, you know, and everybody understands,<br>That though 'tis hard to judge, yet money can't go without hands.'<br>'The devil take me!' said she, (blessing herself,) 'if ever I saw't!'<br>So she roared like a bedlam, as though I had called her all to naught.<br>So, you know, what could I say to her any more?<br>I e'en left her, and came away as wise as I was before.<br>Well; but then they would have had me gone to the cunning man:<br>'No,' said I, ''tis the same thing, the CHAPLAIN will be here anon.'<br>So the Chaplain came in. Now the servants say he is my sweetheart,<br>Because he's always in my chamber, and I always take his part.<br>So, as the devil would have it, before I was aware, out I blundered,<br>'Parson,' said I, 'can you cast a nativity, when a body's plundered?'<br>(Now you must know, he hates to be called Parson, like the devil!)<br>'Truly,' says he, 'Mrs Nab, it might become you to be more civil;<br>If your money be gone, as a learned Divine says, d'ye see,<br>You are no text for my handling; so take that from me:<br>I was never taken for a Conjurer before, I'd have you to know.'<br>'Lord!' said I, 'don't be angry, I am sure I never thought you so;<br>You know I honour the cloth; I design to be a Parson's wife;<br>I never took one in your coat for a conjurer in all my life.'<br>With that he twisted his girdle at me like a rope, as who should say,<br>`Now you may go hang yourself for me!' and so went away.<br>Well: I thought I should have swooned. 'Lord!' said I, 'what shall I do?<br>I have lost my money, and shall lose my true love too!'<br>Then my lord called me: 'Harry,' said my lord, 'don't cry;<br>I'll give you something toward thy loss: 'And,' says my lady, 'so will I.'<br>Oh! but, said I, what if, after all, the Chaplain won't come to?<br>For that, he said (an't please your Excellencies), I must petition you.<br>The premisses tenderly considered, I desire your Excellencies' protection,<br>And that I may have a share in next Sunday's collection;<br>And, over and above, that I may have your Excellencies' letter,<br>With an order for the Chaplain aforesaid, or, instead of him, a better:<br>And then your poor petitioner, both night and day,<br>Or the Chaplain (for 'tis his trade,) as in duty bound, shall ever pray.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Jonathan+Swift">Jonathan Swift</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=426367" data-title="Mrs Frances Haris's Petition de Jonathan Swift" data-description="To their Excellencies the Lords Justices of Ireland,
The humble petition of Frances Harris,
Who must starve and die a maid if it miscarries;
Humble sheweth, that I went to warm myself in Lady Betty's chamber, because I 
was cold;
And I had in a pu..."></div>
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