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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=365977" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Reluctant Visitor</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">The Reverend Peter Porter Guys <br>Was a gentle man with anaemic eyes, <br>Pale blue, that watered wherever he went<br>From Epiphany, to the fasting of Lent.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He walked the villages of his flock<br>From door to door, from knock to knock, <br>And always he mentioned the Organ Fund<br>To the full of life, and the moribund.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He went from house to house with glee<br>Consuming hundreds of cups of tea, <br>And never noticed - and there's the rub, <br>That 'hubby' had gone to hide at the pub.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The ladies listened with wringing hands<br>To the trials of Job and the Lord's commands, <br>And simpered long in the hopes that he<br>Could give them a personal 'Heaven' key.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Forgive their sins, both now and then<br>Put in a word with the Lord for them, <br>Perhaps forgive them a future sin<br>Or two or three - like a lottery win! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">His eyes then watered, the Reverend Guys<br>He gave no specials, he told no lies, <br>The road was narrow, the road was straight<br>With no back alleys to Heaven's Gate.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">One day he went to visit the Dunns<br>They hadn't been to his service once, <br>Just newly moved from a house in town<br>They'd come to the country, settled down.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Now Peggy Dunn, she wanted to fit<br>With the country types of Nether Stitt, <br>She'd sworn to please, so she asked him in<br>And they sat in her bright solarium.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His eyes, they watered in there the most<br>As he talked of the passing Holy Ghost, <br>While Peggy shuddered and looked askance<br>At the pot containing her cannabis plant.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Her husband Don was an atheist, <br>Who didn't believe that gods exist, <br>'We all came down from a worm, ' he said, <br>'That turned to a monkey; then we bred! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His wife was more of a nervous type<br>Who covered her bets 'til the time was ripe, <br>'What if he's up there, watching you? <br>Just keep your voice down, finish your stew! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">So Don had gone out the door at back<br>As the Vicar came in, a frontal attack, <br>He hid in the space between the trees<br>And cursed as the nettles stung his knees.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">While Peggy went out to make the tea<br>The vicar, quite absent-mindedly<br>Picked off some buds from the cannabis plant<br>And chewed on them as a ruminant.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The tea was served in her Doulton fine<br>And the roses seemed to glow like wine, <br>'Such beautiful cups, ' said a voice in his head, <br>'Left over from grandma's estate, ' she said.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He looked up startled, could she see in<br>To the place where the voice spoke only to him? <br>The room was suddenly silent then, <br>As the minutes ticked, and the hours began.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He said, 'well maybe I'd better go...'<br>'Oh must you? ' Then he had answered, 'No! '<br>He didn't have anywhere else to be, <br>And telling a lie was a sin, you see.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He settled back in his easy seat<br>Looked out of the window, drank his tea<br>Then something caught at his feeble stare, <br>'There's a man in the bushes, look! Out there! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Oh, that's just Don, ' said Peggy Dunn<br>And glared at her husband to come on in, <br>He came, but not in the best of moods, <br>In fact, to the vicar, he was rude.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Hi Rev, get out of the wrong side bed? <br>Your collar's on back to front, ' he said, <br>Then laughed, but the Reverend Peter Guys<br>Just sat and stared, and watered his eyes.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Hey Peg, the Reverend needs a feed, <br>I hope you've asked him to stay to tea! '<br>What Peg had whispered I won't repeat, <br>But she said aloud, 'Oh vicar, please! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Of course, ' he mumbled, the room it spun, <br>He couldn't have stood for the Holy One, <br>Then Don had brought in a cookie plate, <br>'Get into them, Rev, before it's too late! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">They both ate cookies, and washed them down<br>With another cuppa in Royal Crown, <br>But Peggy had glared at Don, aghast, <br>The cookies were solidly filled with hash.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">By eight o'clock on that very night<br>The Vicar staggered up out of his seat, <br>'Maybe you'd like to watch TV? '<br>Don had roared, and the Rev. agreed.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'I would, I would, but I really just....'<br>'Sit in my chair? Oh please, you must! ' <br>So Reverend Guys in utter despair<br>Had found himself in a smelly chair; </div><div style="margin:10px 0">With cats' hair over each arm, he sat<br>And waited his chance like a cornered rat, <br>When Don, his sarcasm running to math <br>Said, 'wouldn't you like a shower, or a bath? '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Yes, he would, it was true, he cried<br>He felt unclean, since the cat had died<br>And left its fur on its master's chair<br>Who knew what disease was lurking there? </div><div style="margin:10px 0">He staggered off like an old, old man<br>With Peggy holding his trembling hand, <br>She gave him a towel and a bar of soap<br>But what he would like was a length of rope.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The bathroom window was way too small<br>If he got outside he was bound to fall, <br>But given some rope and by using stealth<br>At least he could try to hang himself.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He came out dripping, and wearing a robe<br>Of Don's, the colour of heliotrope, <br>'You look like you're ready to sleep, ' he said, <br>'Is there any good reason you can't take my bed? '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The vicar replied a despairing 'No! '<br>He still couldn't lie - Please ask him to go! <br>But Don wasn't finished, his sarcasm rife, <br>'Have you any objections to sleep with my wife? '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The vicar lay snuggled right up to his chin<br>With a naked Peggy right next to him, <br>She figured that Don brought it all on himself...<br>(If he gave her a score out of ten - might as well!) </div><div style="margin:10px 0">The Reverend hasn't been spotted of late, <br>It took him a week there to plan his escape, <br>He never drinks tea, and will visit no-one<br>Since causing the split between Peggy and Don.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=David+Lewis+Paget">David Lewis Paget</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=365977" data-title="The Reluctant Visitor de David Lewis Paget" data-description="The Reverend Peter Porter Guys 
Was a gentle man with anaemic eyes, 
Pale blue, that watered wherever he went
From Epiphany, to the fasting of Lent.

He walked the villages of his flock
From door to door, from knock to knock, 
And always he mentio..."></div>
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