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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=365840" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Salomé</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">The play was called Salomé, and we<br>Thought it was an omen when<br>The girl that played the leading part<br>Was stricken with the mumps, <br>So we had to get a new one, and we<br>Called on Mrs. Newman, who was<br>Thirty, going forty, and too<br>Large around the rump.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">There was little we could choose from<br>In the cast, if we should lose one, <br>So the stand-ins were recruited from<br>The Geriatric Home, <br>There was Barney, who'd gone missing<br>On a trip to Little Gissing, though <br>His body had returned, he'd left<br>His faculties to roam.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Then Madge and Mavis Murray were <br>Recruited in a hurry to<br>Supply their famous curry<br>To the audience, at the break.<br>When we asked them of the Matron<br>She said, 'go ahead and take them! '<br>For the ulcers of our Patron had<br>Been keeping her awake.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The rehearsals were exciting, and<br>The changes rung like lightning<br>'Til the player playing Herod slipped<br>And fell right off the stage.<br>So we had to bring on Barney, who'd<br>Been in the British Army, but <br>Who didn't like the guy who played<br>The Prophet in the play.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">They had been out there with Rommel, <br>One a Private, one a Colonel, <br>In the Regimental Journal<br>Barney didn't get his say.<br>Now he got to play King Herod who<br>Would see this Prophet buried<br>When Salomé asked the Prophet's head<br>Delivered on a tray.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I was worried about Barney, who <br>I thought a little barmy, <br>Then the printer spelt - 'Salami'<br>On the program for the play.<br>I was livid, I was raging, <br>It was so humiliating<br>That I almost cancelled everything<br>And gave the show away.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">On the night they raised the curtain<br>Our Salomé was uncertain, <br>When she did the dance of seven veils<br>The audience had cheered.<br>There were only twenty seven from<br>The village, Little Bevington, <br>She'd quite forgot her underwear<br>And quickly disappeared.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I called for intermission while<br>I handled the confusion, but<br>The blushing Mrs. Newman wouldn't<br>Come back on the stage, <br>So she stood behind the curtain and<br>Called out to Barney Burton<br>'I only want the Prophet's head<br>Delivered on a tray! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Barney seemed to quiver, almost <br>Like he'd lost his liver, <br>Then he turned toward the Prophet<br>And he grabbed him by the beard.<br>Then he pulled him right toward him<br>And he grabbed the Captain's sword and<br>Then he flashed and gashed and gored him, <br>I said 'Stop! ' - He never heard! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">A sudden hush descended, this<br>Was not what we intended, <br>Then the sword came down to part<br>The Prophet from his skinny neck, <br>Then the head fell on the table as<br>The neck began to gurgle, <br>And the audience sat stunned until<br>A few began to clap.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">We all were still as statues as they<br>Clapped and threw their hats, and so<br>We turned like cornered rats, and smiled, <br>And then we took a bow.<br>But then, from out the kitchen was <br>The clash of dish and fish in as<br>The Murray sisters claimed the stage -<br>'You want your curry now? '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The audience, long scattered, sit<br>At night, when people chatter, and <br>They talk about Salomé and<br>The sight they saw that night; <br>'When that seventh veil came orf an'<br>We could see it was an orphan, <br>Did you see her belly button - Gawd! <br>Now wasn't that a sight! '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I have given up directing since the<br>Police have quit dissecting all the <br>Aspects of Salomé that just <br>Didn't come out right.<br>Though I tried to resurrect it so<br>They wouldn't disrespect it, but<br>I couldn't get a man to play<br>The Prophet, on the night.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=David+Lewis+Paget">David Lewis Paget</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=365840" data-title="Salomé de David Lewis Paget" data-description="The play was called Salomé, and we
Thought it was an omen when
The girl that played the leading part
Was stricken with the mumps, 
So we had to get a new one, and we
Called on Mrs. Newman, who was
Thirty, going forty, and too
Large around the rum..."></div>
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