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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=358628" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The House Of Dust: Part 02: 06: Adele And Davis</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">She turned her head on the pillow, and cried once more.<br>And drawing a shaken breath, and closing her eyes,<br>To shut out, if she could, this dingy room,<br>The wigs and costumes scattered around the floor,&mdash;<br>Yellows and greens in the dark,&mdash;she walked again<br>Those nightmare streets which she had walked so often . . .<br>Here, at a certain corner, under an arc-lamp,<br>Blown by a bitter wind, she stopped and looked<br>In through the brilliant windows of a drug-store,<br>And wondered if she dared to ask for poison:<br>But it was late, few customers were there,<br>The eyes of all the clerks would freeze upon her,<br>And she would wilt, and cry . . . Here, by the river,<br>She listened to the water slapping the wall,<br>And felt queer fascination in its blackness:<br>But it was cold, the little waves looked cruel,<br>The stars were keen, and a windy dash of spray<br>Struck her cheek, and withered her veins . . . And so<br>She dragged herself once more to home, and bed.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Paul hadn't guessed it yet&mdash;though twice, already,<br>She'd fainted&mdash;once, the first time, on the stage.<br>So she must tell him soon&mdash;or else&mdash;get out . . .<br>How could she say it? That was the hideous thing.<br>She'd rather die than say it! . . . and all the trouble,<br>Months when she couldn't earn a cent, and then,<br>If he refused to marry her . . . well, what?<br>She saw him laughing, making a foolish joke,<br>His grey eyes turning quickly; and the words<br>Fled from her tongue . . . She saw him sitting silent,<br>Brooding over his morning coffee, maybe,<br>And tried again . . . she bit her lips, and trembled,<br>And looked away, and said . . . 'Say Paul, boy,&mdash;listen&mdash;<br>There's something I must tell you . . . ' There she stopped,<br>Wondering what he'd say . . . What would he say?<br>'Spring it, kid! Don't look so serious!'<br>'But what I've got to say&mdash;IS&mdash;serious!'<br>Then she could see how, suddenly, he would sober,<br>His eyes would darken, he'd look so terrifying&mdash;<br>He always did&mdash;and what could she do but cry?<br>Perhaps, then, he would guess&mdash;perhaps he wouldn't.<br>And if he didn't, but asked her 'What's the matter?'&mdash;<br>She knew she'd never tell&mdash;just say she was sick . . .<br>And after that, when would she dare again?<br>And what would he do&mdash;even suppose she told him?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">If it were Felix! If it were only Felix!&mdash;<br>She wouldn't mind so much. But as it was,<br>Bitterness choked her, she had half a mind<br>To pay out Felix for never having liked her,<br>By making people think that it was he . . .<br>She'd write a letter to someone, before she died,&mdash;<br>Just saying 'Felix did it&mdash;and wouldn't marry.'<br>And then she'd die . . . But that was hard on Paul . . .<br>Paul would never forgive her&mdash;he'd never forgive her!<br>Sometimes she almost thought Paul really loved her . . .<br>She saw him look reproachfully at her coffin.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And then she closed her eyes and walked again<br>Those nightmare streets that she had walked so often:<br>Under an arc-lamp swinging in the wind<br>She stood, and stared in through a drug-store window,<br>Watching a clerk wrap up a little pill-box.<br>But it was late. No customers were there,&mdash;<br>Pitiless eyes would freeze her secret in her!<br>And then&mdash;what poison would she dare to ask for?<br>And if they asked her why, what would she say?</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Conrad+Potter+Aiken">Conrad Potter Aiken</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=358628" data-title="The House Of Dust: Part 02: 06: Adele And Davis de Conrad Potter Aiken" data-description="She turned her head on the pillow, and cried once more.
And drawing a shaken breath, and closing her eyes,
To shut out, if she could, this dingy room,
The wigs and costumes scattered around the floor,&mdash;
Yellows and greens in the dark,&mdash;s..."></div>
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