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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=358360" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Suicide Watch</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">If I were to look out of this bedroom window, <br>It would be the only way I would know<br>Summer has arrived-<br>After the storm has abated<br>The leaves on the trees have never <br>Appeared as green, and<br>The asphalt paved path encircling our Japanese garden<br>Has been moistened by the rain-<br>The sun creeps out unobtrusively from behind the<br>Ascending cumulus clouds-<br>Rain has been the tears of naiads<br>Thunder could even be the messiah’s fury <br>Sky lightening has never seemed so bittersweet.<br>Your tears are so silent I can hear them screaming, <br>So copious they could have filled the fishpond, which adorned<br>The happy little park down the street, but in truth<br>They have filled this room with misery and despair, <br>You lie so still beneath the dusty rose colored sheets that cover you<br>I can almost envision you knocking at death’s door<br>I would weep if I could find the tears that I know <br>Are flooding my heart with fear and sadness, <br>I have never felt so alone as I do in this moment-<br>It is truly summer outside-<br>I hear children laughing as they play hopscotch on the sidewalk outside our home, <br>Our swimming pool would seem inviting, as would<br>Long walks in the woods behind the nearby churchyard –<br>But in all honesty I could never leave this room, even if I were allowed.<br> I know we both are crying inside.<br>Summer has always been my favorite season, <br>Though, every time I turn my head towards the window<br>A tear falls, and I ask myself<br>Why has god been so cruel to hurt someone I depend on and love so dearly? <br>You are my mother, and I have been assigned to be your keeper, <br>Just a child myself, I am-<br>We are all God’s children, but what has happened here<br>Could never be God’s work, <br>I have never thought of God as spiteful-<br>I am learning at an early age that life is unfair and for you<br>Not even worth living and here I sit like<br>A prisoner’s guard quiet as a wisp of a spring like breeze<br>Watching over you <br>As if you were my child and <br>I would be the concerned mother<br>Life has not been fair to either one of us.<br>Here I have been sitting on the blue-gray love seat –<br>A gift from grandmother when you and father were wed, <br>For nearly four hours now, <br>You have not moved.<br>Your ghost-like appearance I find terrifying, <br>If I didn’t’ know I would think you had departed t his world already, and<br>In a sense I suppose you have.<br>I wonder if our family will ever be a family again, <br>I would give you my own sight since God has robbed you of yours<br>If only to see you open you eyes or just to see you smile wanly at me<br>For one fleeting moment-<br>I can only think of the vial of pills sitting on the bathroom vanity, <br>Or the knife rudely resting upon the kitchen counter-<br>I was ordered to not let you near, but in all honesty<br>If you were to die<br>There would be no more summer storms, <br>And I wouldn’t hear the screaming in your silent tears again-<br>Life has been cruel to you, may God be punished himself<br>For this tragic mistake-<br>If you took your life mine would never be the same again-<br>A surge of anger overwhelms me now-<br>I should be riding my bike or swimming, <br>Feeding ducks in the park down the street, <br>Going shopping with my best friend-<br>Watching movies or enjoying a summer at camp-<br>Instead I have become an adult overnight, a parent and a nurse-<br>And in this moment I wish I could die with you.<br>This is a storm that shall never end, a summer<br>I shall remember, as I would recognize an infamous person-<br>God has forsaken this family, <br>Our lives will never be the same again, <br>I would sit and pray in church every single day if it would only bring you back to me<br>Heaven forbid, you would take your life while I left your side, I would be to blame.<br>The sun has come out from hiding now and you haven’t moved-<br>I think of the pills and the knife especially –I would take both of our lives<br>We are both good people and would go to heaven together-<br>We would be angels together and angels never suffer-<br>They just stand by God’s side looking beautiful<br>Gathering everybody’s tears and making them go away-and <br>Summer would once again be my favorite time of year…</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Claudia Krizay</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Claudia+Krizay">Claudia Krizay</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=358360" data-title="Suicide Watch de Claudia Krizay" data-description="If I were to look out of this bedroom window, 
It would be the only way I would know
Summer has arrived-
After the storm has abated
The leaves on the trees have never 
Appeared as green, and
The asphalt paved path encircling our Japanese garden
Ha..."></div>
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