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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=357593" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Half a Man</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">'I wash me 'ands uv 'im,' I tells 'em straight.<br> 'You women can do wot yeh dash well like.<br>I leave this 'arf a man to 'is own fate;<br> I've done me bit, an' now I'm gone on strike.<br>Do wot yeh please; but don't arsk 'elp from me;<br>'E's give me nerves; so now I'll let 'im be.'</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Doreen an' ole Mar Flood 'as got a scheme.<br> They've been conspirin' for a week or more<br>About this Digger Smith, an' now they dream<br> They've got 'is fucher waitin' in cold store<br>To 'and 'im out, an' fix 'im up for life.<br>But they've got Buckley's, as I tells me wife.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I've seen them whisperin' up in our room.<br> Now they wants me to join in the debate;<br>But 'Nix,' I tells 'em. 'I ain't in the boom,<br> An' Digger Smith ain't risin' to me bait;<br>'E's fur too fly a fish for me to catch,<br>An' two designin' women ain't 'is match.'</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I puts me foot down firm, an' tells 'em, No!<br> Their silly plan's a thing I wouldn't touch.<br>An' then me wife, for 'arf an hour or so,<br> Talks to me confident, of nothin' much;<br>Then, 'fore I know it, I am all red 'ot<br>Into the scheme, an' leader uv the plot.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Twas Mar Flood starts it. She got 'old uv 'im --<br> You know the way they 'ave with poor, weak men --<br>She drops a tear or two concernin' Jim;<br> Tells 'im wot women 'ave to bear; an' then<br>She got 'im talkin', like a woman can.<br>'E never would 'ave squeaked to any man.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">She leads 'im on -- It's crook the way they scheme --<br> To talk about this girl 'e's let be'ind.<br>Not that she's pryin'! Why, she wouldn't dream! --<br> But speakin' uv it might jist ease 'is mind.<br>Then, 'fore 'e knows, 'e's told, to 'is surprise,<br>Name an' address -- an' colour uv 'er eyes!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">An' then she's off 'ere plottin' with Doreen --<br> Bustin' a confidence, I tells 'em, flat.<br>But all me roustin' leaves 'em both serene:<br> Women don't see a little thing like that.<br>An' I ain't cooled off yet before they've got<br>Me workin' for 'em in this crooked plot.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Nex' day Mar Flood she takes 'er Sunday dress<br> An' 'er best bonnet up to town.<br>'Er game's to see the girl at this address<br> An' word 'er in regard to comin' down<br>To take Smith be su'prise. My part's to fix<br>A meetin' so there won't be any mix.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I tips, that girl won't 'esitate.<br> She don't. She comes right back with Mar nex' day,<br>All uv a fluster. When I see 'er state<br> I thinks I'd best see Digger straight away;<br>'Cos if I don't, 'e's bound to 'ear the row,<br>With 'er: 'Where is 'e? Can't I see 'im now?'</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I finds 'im in the paddick down at Flood's.<br> I 'ums an' 'ars a bit about the crops.<br>'E don't say nothin': goes on baggin' spuds.<br> ''Ow would yeh like,' I sez to 'im, an' stops.<br>''Ow would it be' ... 'E stands an' looks at me:<br>'Now, wot the 'Ell's got into you?' sez 'e.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">That don't restore me confidence a bit.<br> The drarmer isn't goin' as I tipped.<br>I corfs, an' makes another shot at it;<br> While 'e looks at me like 'e thinks I'm dipped.<br>'Well - jist suppose,' I sez; an' then I turn<br>An' see 'er standin' there among the fern.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">She don't want no prelimin'ries, this tart;<br> She's broke away before they rung the bell;<br>She's beat the gun, an' got a flyin' start.<br> Smith makes a funny noise, an' I sez ''Ell!'<br>Because I tumbles that I'm out uv place.<br>But, as I went, I caught sight uv 'er face.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">That's all I want to know. An', as I ran,<br> I 'ear's her cry, 'My man! Man an' a 'arf!<br>Don't fool me with yer talk uv 'arf a man!'...<br> An' then I 'ear ole Digger start to larf.<br>It was a funny larf, so 'elp me bob:<br>Fair in the middle uv it come a sob...</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I don't see Digger till the other night.<br> 'Well, 'Arf-a-man,' I sez, ''Ow goes it now?'<br>'Yes, 'arf a man,' sez 'e. 'Yeh got it right;<br> I can't change that, alone, not any'ow.<br>But she is mendin' things.' 'E starts to larf.<br>'Some day,' 'e sez, 'she'll be the better 'arf.'</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Clarence+Michael+James+Stanislaus+Dennis">Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=357593" data-title="Half a Man de Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis" data-description="'I wash me 'ands uv 'im,' I tells 'em straight. 'You women can do wot yeh dash well like. I leave this 'arf a man to 'is own fate; I've done me bit, an' now I'm gone on strike. Do wot yeh please; but don't arsk 'elp from me; 'E's give me nerves;..."></div> </div> </div>
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