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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=353103" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Why Keep On Living? ....[LONG; Personal; End-of-Life Choices]</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">This may not my typical poem be... because<br>I don't plan to use much rhyming.... you wait and see! </div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>As my wife is away in Japan<br>and I hold down the fort....<br>watering plants, doing outdoor chores, paying bills....<br>I ask myself.....again...why keep living? </div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>It's kind of a depressing question as it implies<br>that I don't enjoy life enough to want to keep living<br>or I feel there is a good reason to die.<br>Neither position is exactly what's in my mind.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>It's not that I feel any god-commanded mandate, <br>or even, exactly, a human mandate to keep living....<br>though I have been coerced by both my daughter<br>and my wife to stay alive for now.<br>(Shannon wants her as-yet-unborn children to 'know' me; <br>my wife wants to die before I do; I'm not sure why.) </div><div style="margin:10px 0">I'm 61 and relatively healthy. My wife encourages good health. I don't WANT to die, exactly, though there are times <br>when I think death would be 'nice'. <br>Death could be 'easier' than living.<br>I sometimes say I feel I use too many resources, etc..<br>(my wife says I eat too much.) </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Call me 'lazy' if you will. …..I sometimes (rarely) <br>lie in bed on my back, feel exceptionally relaxed, <br>and think…..<br>‘if death were like this I would welcome it.'<br>[And maybe it is.]</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Don't get my wrong. I have a good life as lives go.<br>I feel 'blessed' to be: male, white, a 'good' height<br>and weight (I think) , modestly attractive, healthy, <br>raised Christian (though no longer) , heterosexual, <br>financially secure, Anglo-Saxon, 'middle (lower) class', <br>relatively intelligent, living in America, and having<br>(I think) good common sense. I had a safe, <br>educated upbringing. I have a lovely and loving daughter.<br>And, most of all, I have a lovely and loving wife.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Not that I feel being 'male, white' etc. makes <br>me 'better' than other people. I DON'T! Really.<br>But, given my surroundings, I believe the above<br>conditions have been advantageous for my life …..<br>for my comfort, well-being....whatever one calls it.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">So why would I even consider ending my life voluntarily? <br>Good question! ! <br>Well....from time to time since I was in my twenties<br>I have had moments of mild depression....[nothing to seek medical help for you understand.... <br>Thank God! ....even though I don't believe in God; <br>I don't really not believe in God either. Growing up<br>going to church and Sunday school was pleasant <br>enough usually....especially the candy for kids at X-mas eve church services! ]<br>The 'mild depression' would come at times when I <br>had no female partner with whom I could share...share life, share meals, share bedtime, etc..<br>At other times I've gotten depressed when a relationship <br>I'm in seems to be crumbling. Oh no! <br> 'I'm not accepted for what I am (an imperfect man...is that redundant?) .; <br> Where do I go from here? ; I could be lonely again.; <br> I really want a woman to love me and be loved, albeit 'imperfectly', by me.'</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SO, at times depression brought on by 'insufficient' love has<br>made me doubt the worth of continued living.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Also, within the last 10 to15 years, I have had <br>environmental doubts about the worth of continuing to live.<br>There are too many people on earth for the available<br>resources to sustain them in a comfortable fashion.<br>OR...the resources are not divided in such a way to <br>provide a comfortable life for all.<br>   </div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>   <br>People are living too long! ! (read on) </div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br> </div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>'Doom and gloom' in the news, casts doubt on the future of mankind.<br>'Global warming', war, disease, hunger, crime, <br>bankruptcy, foreclosures, pollution, joblessness, terrorism, <br>lack of healthcare, unwed mothers (and fathers) , <br>adult-children and grandchildren moving <br>in with parents and grandparents, religious + ethnic strife ….<br>NEED I say more? Not that these events are ALL new to mankind.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I have led a pretty good and complete life.<br>Now my main reasons for living are to share life with my wife<br>and to try to help others in small ways.....<br>as a financial supporter of 'worthy causes', <br>as a friend to some people as lucky as I am, and <br>as a friend to some others who are less-advantaged.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I like to think when my body dies I die completely<br>except as a memory in some peoples' minds, <br>and perhaps as part of someone else's body through organ/tissue donation..<br> <br> <br> <br>I do feel, or like to think that, some people will miss me ….<br>some might even be saddened for more than a day if I were to die.<br>But I believe those people would be few and far between.<br>And I feel they should be able to do fine without me in time.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">(and my insurance beneficiaries would prosper) </div><div style="margin:10px 0">(9-2-2009) </div><div style="margin:10px 0">   3</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Bri+Edwards">Bri Edwards</a><div class=q>
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I don't plan to use much rhyming.... you wait and see! 


As my wife is away in Japan
and I hold down the fort....
watering plants, doing outdoor chores, paying bills....
I ask myself.....again...why keep..."></div>
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