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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=343999" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Investigating Flora</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Twas in scientific circles <br>That the great Professor Brown <br>Had a world-wide reputation <br>As a writer of renown. <br>He had striven finer feelings <br>In our natures to implant <br>By his Treatise on the Morals <br>Of the Red-eyed Bulldog Ant. <br>He had hoisted an opponent <br>Who had trodden unawares <br>On his "Reasons for Bare Patches <br>On the Female Native Bears". <br>So they gave him an appointment <br>As instructor to a band <br>Of the most attractive females <br>To be gathered in the land. <br>'Twas a "Ladies' Science Circle" -- <br>Just the latest social fad <br>For the Nicest People only, <br>And to make their rivals mad. <br>They were fond of "science rambles" <br>To the country from the town -- <br>A parade of female beauty <br>In the leadership of Brown. <br>They would pick a place for luncheon <br>And catch beetles on their rugs; <br>The Professor called 'em "optera" -- <br>They calld 'em "nasty bugs". <br>Well, the thing was bound to perish <br>For no lovely woman can <br>Feel the slightest interest <br>In a club without a Man -- <br>The Professor hardly counted <br>He was crazy as a loon, <br>With a countenance suggestive <br>Of an elderly baboon. <br>But the breath of Fate blew on it <br>With a sharp and sudden blast, <br>And the "Ladies' Science Circle" <br>Is a memory of the past. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">There were two-and-twenty members, <br>Mostly young and mostly fair, <br>Who had made a great excursion <br>To a place called Dontknowwhere, <br>At the crossing of Lost River, <br>On the road to No Man's Land. <br>There they met an old selector, <br>With a stockwhip in his hand, <br>And the sight of so much beauty <br>Sent him slightly "off his nut"; <br>So he asked them, smiling blandly, <br>"Would they come down to the hut?" <br>"I am come," said the Professor, <br>In his thin and reedy voice, <br>"To investigate your flora, <br>Which I feel is very choice." <br>The selector stared dumbfounded, <br>Till at last he found his tongue: <br>"To investigate my Flora! <br>Oh, you howlin' Brigham Young! <br>Why, you've two-and-twenty wimmen -- <br>Reg'lar slap-up wimmen, too! <br>And you're after little Flora! <br>And a crawlin' thing like you! <br>Oh, you Mormonite gorilla! <br>Well, I've heard it from the first <br>That you wizened little fellers <br>Is a hundred times the worst! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">But a dried-up ape like you are, <br>To be marchin' through the land <br>With a pack of lovely wimmen -- <br>Well, I cannot understand!" <br>"You mistake," said the Professor, <br>In a most indignant tone -- <br>While the ladies shrieked and jabbered <br>In a fashion of their own -- <br>"You mistake about these ladies, <br>I'm a lecturer of theirs; <br>I am Brown, who wrote the Treatise <br>On the Female Native Bears! <br>When I said we wanted flora, <br>What I meant was native flowers." <br>"Well, you said you wanted Flora, <br>And I'll swear you don't get ours! <br>But here's Flora's self a-comin', <br>And it's time for you to skip, <br>Or I'll write a treatise on you, <br>And I'll write it with the whip! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Now I want no explanations; <br>Just you hook it out of sight, <br>Or you'll charm the poor girl some'ow!" <br>The Professor looked in fright: <br>She was six feet high and freckled, <br>And her hair was turkey-red. <br>The Professor gave a whimper, <br>And threw down his bag and fled, <br>And the Ladies' Science Circle, <br>With a simultaneous rush, <br>Travelled after its Professor, <br>And went screaming through the bush! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">At the crossing of Lost River, <br>On the road to No Man's Land, <br>Where the grim and ghostly gumtrees <br>Block the view on every hand, <br>There they weep and wail and wander, <br>Always seeking for the track, <br>For the hapless old Professor <br>Hasn't sense to guide 'em back; <br>And they clutch at one another, <br>And they yell and scream in fright <br>As they see the gruesome creatures <br>Of the grim Australian night; <br>And they hear the mopoke's hooting, <br>And the dingo's howl so dread, <br>And the flying foxes jabber <br>From the gum trees overhead; <br>While the weird and wary wombats, <br>In their subterranean caves, <br>Are a-digging, always digging, <br>At those wretched people's graves; <br>And the pike-horned Queensland bullock, <br>From his shelter in the scrub, <br>Has his eye on the proceedings <br>Of the Ladies' Science Club.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Andrew+Barton+Paterson">Andrew Barton Paterson</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=343999" data-title="Investigating Flora de Andrew Barton Paterson" data-description="'Twas in scientific circles That the great Professor Brown Had a world-wide reputation As a writer of renown. He had striven finer feelings In our natures to implant By his Treatise on the Morals Of the Red-eyed Bulldog Ant. He had hoisted..."></div> </div> </div>
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