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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=342919" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Thanksgiving</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">_The Superintendent of an Almshouse. A Pauper._</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SUPERINTENDENT:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">So _you're_ unthankful-you'll not eat the bird?<br>You sit about the place all day and gird.<br>I understand you'll not attend the ball<br>That's to be given to-night in Pauper Hall.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PAUPER:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Why, that is true, precisely as you've heard:<br>I have no teeth and I will eat no bird.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SUPERINTENDENT:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Ah! see how good is Providence. Because<br>Of teeth He has denuded both your jaws<br>The fowl's made tender; you can overcome it<br>By suction; or at least-well, you can gum it,<br>Attesting thus the dictum of the preachers<br>That Providence is good to all His creatures-<br>Turkeys excepted. Come, ungrateful friend,<br>If our Thanksgiving dinner you'll attend<br>You shall say grace-ask God to bless at least<br>The soft and liquid portions of the feast.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PAUPER.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Without those teeth my speech is rather thick<br>He'll hardly understand Gum Arabic.<br>No, I'll not dine to-day. As to the ball,<br>'Tis known to you that I've no legs at all.<br>I had the gout-hereditary; so,<br>As it could not be cornered in my toe<br>They cut my legs off in the fond belief<br>That shortening me would make my anguish brief.<br>Lacking my legs I could not prosecute<br>With any good advantage a pursuit;<br>And so, because my father chose to court<br>Heaven's favor with his ortolans and Port<br>(Thanksgiving every day!) the Lord supplied<br>Saws for my legs, an almshouse for my pride<br>And, once a year, a bird for my inside.<br>No, I'll not dance-my light fantastic toe<br>Took to its heels some twenty years ago.<br>Some small repairs would be required for putting<br>My feelings on a saltatory footing.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">_(Sings)_</div><div style="margin:10px 0">O the legless man's an unhappy chap<br>_Tum-hi, tum-hi, tum-he o'haddy<br>The favors o' fortune fall not in his lap<br>_Tum-hi, tum-heedle-do hum<br>The plums of office avoid his plate<br>No matter how much he may stump the State<br>_Tum-hi, ho-heeee._<br>The grass grows never beneath his feet,<br>But he cannot hope to make both ends meet<br>_Tum-hi._<br>With a gleeless eye and a somber heart,<br>He plays the role of his mortal part:<br>Wholly himself he can never be.<br>O, a soleless corporation is he!<br>_Tum_.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">SUPERINTENDENT:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The chapel bell is calling, thankless friend,<br>Balls you may not, but church you _shall_, attend.<br>Some recognition cannot be denied<br>To the great mercy that has turned aside<br>The sword of death from us and let it fall<br>Upon the people's necks in Montreal;<br>That spared our city, steeple, roof and dome,<br>And drowned the Texans out of house and home;<br>Blessed all our continent with peace, to flood<br>The Balkan with a cataclysm of blood.<br>Compared with blessings of so high degree,<br>Your private woes look mighty small-to me.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Ambrose+Bierce">Ambrose Bierce</a><div class=q>
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SUPERINTENDENT:

So _you're_ unthankful-you'll not eat the bird?
You sit about the place all day and gird.
I understand you'll not attend the ball
That's to be given to-night in Pauper Hall.

PAUPER..."></div>
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