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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=117001" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Betsey and I Are Out</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">Draw up the papers, lawyer, and make 'em good and stout;<br>For things at home are crossways, and Betsey and I are out.<br>We, who have worked together so long as man and wife,<br>Must pull in single harness for the rest of our nat'ral life.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"What is the matter?" say you. I swan it's hard to tell!<br>Most of the years behind us we've passed by very well;<br>I have no other woman, she has no other man—<br>Only we've lived together as long as we ever can.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">So I have talked with Betsey, and Betsey has talked with me,<br>And so we've agreed together that we can't never agree;<br>Not that we've catched each other in any terrible crime;<br>We've been a-gathering this for years, a little at a time.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">There was a stock of temper we both had for a start,<br>Although we never suspected 'twould take us two apart;<br>I had my various failings, bred in the flesh and bone;<br>And Betsey, like all good women, had a temper of her own.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The first thing I remember whereon we disagreed<br>Was something concerning heaven—a difference in our creed;<br>We arg'ed the thing at breakfast, we arg'ed the thing at tea,<br>And the more we arg'ed the question the more we didn't agree.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And the next that I remember was when we lost a cow;<br>She had kicked the bucket for certain, the question was only—How?<br>I held my own opinion, and Betsey another had;<br>And when we were done a-talkin', we both of us was mad.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And the next that I remember, it started in a joke;<br>But full for a week it lasted, and neither of us spoke.<br>And the next was when I scolded because she broke a bowl;<br>And she said I was mean and stingy, and hadn't any soul.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And so that bowl kept pourin' dissensions in our cup;<br>And so that blamed cow-critter was always a-comin' up;<br>And so that heaven we arg'ed no nearer to us got,<br>But it gave us a taste of somethin' a thousand times as hot.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And so the thing kept workin', and all the self-same way;<br>Always somethin' to arg'e, and somethin' sharp to say;<br>And down on us came the neighbors, a couple dozen strong,<br>And lent their kindest sarvice for to help the thing along.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And there has been days together—and many a weary week—<br>We was both of us cross and spunky, and both too proud to speak;<br>And I have been thinkin' and thinkin', the whole of the winter and fall,<br>If I can't live kind with a woman, why, then, I won't at all.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And so I have talked with Betsey, and Betsey has talked with me,<br>And we have agreed together that we can't never agree;<br>And what is hers shall be hers, and what is mine shall be mine;<br>And I'll put it in the agreement, and take it to her to sign.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Write on the paper, lawyer—the very first paragraph—<br>Of all the farm and live-stock that she shall have her half;<br>For she has helped to earn it, through many a weary day,<br>And it's nothing more than justice that Betsey has her pay.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Give her the house and homestead—a man can thrive and roam;<br>But women are skeery critters, unless they have a home;<br>And I have always determined, and never failed to say,<br>That Betsey never should want a home if I was taken away.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">There is a little hard money that's drawin' tol'rable pay:<br>A couple of hundred dollars laid by for a rainy day;<br>Safe in the hands of good men, and easy to get at;<br>Put in another clause there, and give her half of that.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Yes, I see you smile, Sir, at my givin' her so much;<br>Yes, divorce is cheap, Sir, but I take no stock in such!<br>True and fair I married her, when she was blithe and young;<br>And Betsey was al'ays good to me, exceptin' with her tongue.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Once, when I was young as you, and not so smart, perhaps,<br>For me she mittened a lawyer, and several other chaps;<br>And all of them was flustered, and fairly taken down,<br>And I for a time was counted the luckiest man in town.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Once when I had a fever—I won't forget it soon—<br>I was hot as a basted turkey and crazy as a loon;<br>Never an hour went by me when she was out of sight—<br>She nursed me true and tender, and stuck to me day and night.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And if ever a house was tidy, and ever a kitchen clean,<br>Her house and kitchen was tidy as any I ever seen;<br>And I don't complain of Betsey, or any of her acts,<br>Exceptin' when we've quarreled, and told each other facts.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">So draw up the paper, lawyer, and I'll go home to-night,<br>And read the agreement to her, and see if it's all right;<br>And then, in the mornin', I'll sell to a tradin' man I know,<br>And kiss the child that was left to us, and out in the world I'll go.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And one thing put in the paper, that first to me didn't occur:<br>That when I am dead at last she'll bring me back to her;<br>And lay me under the maples I planted years ago,<br>When she and I was happy before we quarreled so.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And when she dies I wish that she would be laid by me,<br>And, lyin' together in silence, perhaps we will agree;<br>And, if ever we meet in heaven, I wouldn't think it queer<br>If we loved each other the better because we quarreled here.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Will+Carleton">Will Carleton</a><div class=q>
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